Good day and welcome to overcoming temptations. I wish you God’s grace and wisdom in Jesus name. Today our topic is titled “Why am I not married” This topic is for single ladies.
On a particular day in church during a Service, the pastor called for those who are trusting God for marriage and are not yet married, and about half of the church came out for prayers, most of them were single ladies, some of them in their forties. Then I asked God in prayers why should these ladies who are serving you diligently, not have husbands. Why are you allowing them go through so much trials and temptations. I came up with so many analysis, such as – .1. Is it that women are generally more than men in population, as a result some of them cannot get husbands. 2. Or is it that women are now financially empowered, so they no longer need men, because they can have children, finance their homes all without a husband. 3. Or is that men are now intimidated and cannot approach women whom they see as richer or more educated than them. 4. Or is that men do not want to take up responsibilities and prefer just to sleep with women and avoid the responsibility of marriage.
For many years, I pondered on this, because I knew so many God fearing women who were not married and at a time and did not know how to encourage them again. Until recently God laid upon my heart the spiritual reasons that this is happening.
There are 3 category of ladies I was able to identify
- Ladies who are not committed to God. Isaiah 59: 1-2 says Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. But your sins have separated you from your God. Some ladies who are trusting to God for marriage are not committed to God, they are involved in fornication and or rebellion, so the power of God is limited in their lives. If you are sleeping with a man that you are not married to, you need to stop because you could be hindering the move of God, why don’t you get married first as God desires. Others are not into fornication but are rebellious, the bible describes rebellion as witchcraft, stubbornness or rebellion will also hinder the move of God.
- The second category are ladies who do not seek Gods will but have a mental image of the man they want to marry. Such as he must be rich, he must be 6 feet tall, he must be from my place and so on. Such people may have missed out opportunities of marriage. There is nothing wrong in identifying the type of person you want to get married to, because marriage is both physical and spiritual, however if your desires are not in line with Gods will for you, God’s will should take precedence. Also in this category are people whom God want to polish their character so that they are well prepared for marriage. Proverbs 3:5 says Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. So learn to trust God.
- The third Category are ladies who are daughters of God yet it pleases God that they are not married. In Judges 11 We read about Jephthah’s daughter. Jephtah was a mighty warrior and he made a rash vow that if God gives him victory in a war he will sacrifice anything that comes out first from his house. So God gave him victory but the first person to come out to greet him was his daughter. So Jephtah was confused and he wept because of the vow he had made. But his daughter said he should worry but he should go ahead and sacrifice her because he had promised God, she asked for two month to go and play with her friends because she will never marry also she was a virgin and that was how she died as a virgin. God is sovereign, and there are things He does that are beyond us, so there are people whom it pleases God that they don’t marry not because there is anything wrong with them.
So for category 1 and 2, you can make adjustments, Wish you a blessed day in Jesus name
Also wisdom entails not worrying about what you do not control. For instance Psalm 127:3 says children are a heritage and a reward from God, so if you don’t have children you should allow it weigh you down because it is not in your power to give yourself, you can only depend on God.
In this category are those who God has decided that the timing for their marriage has not come, from their calculation they ought to be married, but God who knows the ending from the beginning has an appointed time. So all they can do is just to wait
